The Wolf Within
by GreenAmber179
Summary: Farkas is worried. Something is happening to him, something new and unfamiliar. Is he losing control over his inner wolf, or perhaps there is another explanation?
1. Chapter 1

The attackers were dead. Farkas wiped his brow, smearing blood on his forehead. He looked around, at the bodies of the members of the Silver Hand. Then he froze. Kodlak was lying on the ground too, pale and lifeless with a pool of blood slowly growing beneath his body. He wasn't moving. Farkas rushed to him and kneeled on the floor, hoping to find him wounded but still breathing.

"He is dead," Nadja whispered, kneeling on the other side of the old man.

Vilkas was standing near the door and staring at them. Farkas shook his head. They did not need words to communicate. Loud crack of the opening door broke the silence, followed by happy barking. Aline was back. Farkas felt sudden rush of anger. Now she was back!

"Where have you been?!" Vilkas attacked her. Of course his brother felt the same. Their thoughts always followed the same path.

"I was handling something Kodlak asked me to do," she explained cheerfully. "Aela said you had a little problem here, right?"

Then she peered inside. Her face went pale at the sight of the old man's body. Farkas watched her with satisfaction. Yes, she should suffer. She should have returned earlier. Perhaps it would be different, perhaps… Kodlak would still be alive.

"I am not going to leave it like that. We have to find them!" Vilkas said to no one in particular, but it was obvious she would listen. There was already a feeling of guilt on her face.

Even the dog stopped barking for a while. She found it during one of her travels and since then it followed her everywhere. "You should not call him _it_ ", she corrected Farkas once, laughing. "It is a male and his name is Barbas."

Farkas liked animals, dogs and wolves in particular, but this one was really annoying. Barbas was constantly moving, searching, sniffing, snooping around. And barking. All the time. ALL THE TIME. On the other hand, his fur was long and surprisingly soft to the touch and his eyes looked extremely intelligent. Its. Its eyes, of course.

Farkas shook his head wearily, realizing that the dog is actually laying on the floor next to him, whimpering softly, its black nose touching Kodlak's arm. Farkas sighed and put his heavy hand on the dog's head. Aline kneeled on the floor next to them.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I wish I returned sooner."

"I don't," he muttered angrily. "You wouldn't have helped anyway."

She reached out to touch his arm, but he moved away.

"Leave me," he added. "Just leave me."

And that she did. For a moment she talked to Vilkas in hushed voices. "We are going to make them pay!" His brother said aloud and then they left. Barking slowly died in the distance. Suddenly, Farkas felt guilty. Why did he get so angry? Something was very wrong. It was not the first time he got furious without any reason. Was it… he felt a cold chill down his spine. Was it the beast taking over?

Funeral preparations took them the rest of the day. It was nearly midnight, when Farkas finally went to bed, but the sleep did not come. Kodlak was like a father to him and his brother. He was there when they were just little kids. He was there when they were growing up, supported them even when they became men, strong, resilient and independent. And now he was gone.

He was also beginning to worry about Vilkas and Aline. Vilkas and Aline. Their names fitted together. He did not pay much attention when they left, but now, in the dark of the night, his thoughts were wandering freely. Only the two of them and the entire den full of the Silver Hand. They were so reckless! He should have gone with them! He could not bear losing his brother and Aline... Of course he was worried about her, too. She was the Dragonborn. The entire world needed her.

Farkas imagined his brother and the girl, blinded by rage and guilt, rushing into the Silver Hand hideout. Both were amazing fighters but the numbers were against them. He punched his bed in desperate anger.

A dog barking somewhere down in the village almost made him jump. Right. They had a dog, so there were three of them. She should have a good, strong man with her instead of dragging a stupid pup around. Someone to talk to, to protect her… A good, strong man like him. Or his brother.

Actually, why Vilkas never asked him to come? They just talked for a few minutes and suddenly everything was arranged. He imagined his brother and Aline camping somewhere high in the mountains, making a small fire and clinging to each other for warmth. He punched the wooden frame of the bed again.

"Farkas," Aela was standing at the door, pale and sad in the darkness of the room. "Cannot sleep?"

"Yeah," he grunted. "Sorry, if I woke you up."

"Don't worry, he will come back," she said, as if reading his mind. Well, a part of his mind anyway.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I've seen her fighting," Aela came up to him and sat on his bed. "And we both know your brother. They would need a worse enemy to be in trouble."

"You are right. Thanks."

"I couldn't sleep too. I thought that if I was a few steps closer, a little faster… I could have saved him."

"I know."

"Yes. You do. You thought the same, didn't you?"

Farkas nodded.

"I always liked that about you," Aela smiled weakly. "You never waste words. You know what she said one day?"

"She?"

"Aline."

He winced. Something about him, obviously. Did he really want to hear that?

"I travelled a little with her recently, you know. It is strange. She seems to be an ordinary person. And then you realize that you actually know nothing about her. That there are things going on in her head you can never comprehend."

"What does it have to do with me?"

"Oh, that. She told me once that she could not understand why everyone is only praising Vilkas. Because you are so much more than meets the eye."

"She said that?"

"Yeah," Aela touched his cheek. Her fingers were cold. "I think she was right."

He did not object when her hand sneaked under the covers. Sometimes they spend nights together, to ease the tension. However, this time it did not work. An unfamiliar, gnawing anxiety did not let him sleep for a long time after Aela left his room.


	2. Chapter 2

On the third day Farkas went to bed early, planning to leave at dawn. He was going to find them and tell them... Tell them they were reckless, dumb and… He was almost asleep, when a familiar sound woke him up in an instant. Barking. He rushed out of his room without thinking, wearing only a shirt and linen pants.

"Vilkas! Damn you!" He shouted when they met at the door. "Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine," his brother answered. "Something wrong? You look… pale."

"I was…" Farkas stammered. Suddenly he felt embarrassed. He and his brother were close but they never talked about it. "I was worried about you," he admitted finally. "I was going to follow you this morning."

"Ha!" His brother laughed and gave him a powerful hug. "My little brother was worried. It would take more to beat us. Much more."

"I guess I'm getting old and soft," Farkas snarled. "So, what happened?"

"Ask Aline," Vilkas told him. "I'm completely exhausted. We travelled the entire day almost without stopping. Where does she find all that strength, I wonder?"

She was sitting at the table in the end of the room. Kodlak's chair was like an empty hole next to her. Farkas sat on it without thinking. They needed to move on.

"Vilkas told me to ask you, what happened."

"There is nothing to talk about," she shook her hear wearily. "We went there, killed everyone and came back. I guess Kodlak wouldn't want revenge, but I feel better now."

"Me too," he admitted, looking at her. She removed her armor with a sigh of relief. Underneath, she was wearing only a tunic and he noticed a strange amulet on her neck. Was it…

"An amulet of Mara?" He asked aloud. "You're looking for marriage, then?"

"Oh. I found it on one of the bandits we killed along the way. Strange to think that the villains want a family life as well, isn't it?"

"So you want to get married?"

"Well, I thought about it. Sometimes I feel… lonely. But I did not expect so much interest."

"Someone proposed to you?"

"Well, yeah. A few people."

Farkas frowned. He didn't like the thought of her getting married. She shouldn't be distracted. The entire world depended on her.

"And what did you say?"

"I'm still wearing it, right?"

She seemed a little embarrassed. He wanted to ask about all those suitors she rejected, but it was a personal issue after all. Definitely not his business.

"Actually…" she began hesitantly. "I hoped that it would encourage someone. But perhaps he is not interested."

"I can't believe there is a person in Skyrim that would not be interested," he said harsher than he meant to.

"I know, I know," she leaned back in her chair with a sigh. "I'm a hero, rich, famous and all. But I wish someone just liked me, even without those things."

I like you that way, Farkas realized. He did not desire money or fame. He liked her the way she was, courageous, smart, funny, enjoying little things in life just the way he did. She never joked about his intelligence, unlike his own brother. She was a real friend to him. But he remained silent knowing that when she mentioned 'someone', she had a specific person in mind. Marriages were treated extremely pragmatically, but perhaps she liked someone enough to make preferences.

"I guess I should go to sleep," she said, when the silence was becoming too heavy. "See you in the morning."

A moment later she disappeared in the room she shared with Ria. Farkas cursed under his breath. He should have said something. Anything. He knew that he would have at least a few answers before falling asleep - friendly, a little reserved and comforting at the same time. But it was too late.

So he went to bed too, but did not spare a single thought on what he could have said. There was a more pressing problem on his mind. Who was that? Who did she like more than others? She said "he is not interested", so it was a man. To tell the truth, she could have anyone. Farkas suspected that even a jarl would not reject her. So who was it? A warrior? Someone more skilled with words and mind? A powerful mage? Or perhaps someone rich and influential? No, that world would never suit her. She would never allow being locked in a gilded cage. She could not live without adventures and needed someone who would accompany her on her travels, talk to her, understand her…

"What's wrong with you?" The voice of Vilkas sounded loudly in the silence of the night. "You've been tossing and turning for over an hour now. Are you sick?"

"Oh." Farkas felt like a child stealing cookies. "It's nothing really. I'm fine. Sorry."

"You did look pale today," his brother added. "Try to get some sleep."

Farkas went completely still but thoughts came to his mind uninvited. Aline's spouse would be a lucky person. Their life would never be boring. They often travelled together, Farkas never refused when she asked for his company. It was always fun. Dungeons, crypts, bandits, vampires… They had much in common and he really enjoyed the time they spent together.

Perhaps even Vilkas wouldn't refuse such marriage although he always emphasized his independence. Actually, he would be a very good candidate. Excellent, experienced fighter. Strong, resolute personality who would never allow being dominated. Refined and smart for a warrior. Perfect.

Farkas resisted the urge to leave the bed and get some air. Something was definitely wrong. His emotions were in a complete turmoil. It was going to be another night when a dull ache in his chest prevented him from sleeping. Perhaps Kodlak was right about the wolf blood. Perhaps he was losing control.


	3. Chapter 3

A few days after they returned from a long and dangerous trip to the Tomb of Ysgramor, Farkas made his decision. He liked the wolf within him and valued the power it gave. But if lycanthropy could be cured, he had to do this. And he knew exactly who could help him. He peered into her quarters. Aline was alone, reading a book, one hand hanging down from the bed and absently scratching the dog's head.

"Could we talk?" He began cautiously, closing the door behind him. "I think I may need your help."

"Another job?"

"No, it's something… personal. I was wondering if you could accompany me to the Tomb of Ysgramor."

"Why? You have never wanted that before. Just the opposite, in fact."

"I don't know how to explain it. I have trouble sleeping. There is something growing in me… like a need. But I don't know what I want. What if it's a desire to kill? What if it overcomes me one day?"

"What happened? Did you… attack someone?"

"No, of course not. But if I'm becoming a mindless beast, it needs to be stopped before people begin to die."

"I'll go if you want. But I've known you for some time and nothing ever suggested that you are losing control. You are a good man and that affects the wolf in you." She raised her head to look at him and the amulet of Mara twinkled on her neck.

"You are still wearing it?" He asked in surprise.

"I'm still looking for the perfect husband, you see," she smiled.

"But I thought…" he stammered. "You have so many to choose…"

"And what about you? Are you interested?"

"I won't lie. I am." He answered without thinking. He wanted to repeat that anyone would be interested, but realized that such words would not be exactly tactful considering the circumstances. But on the other hand, she would never guess that…

"Aren't you going to ask my opinion on the matter?" She teased, and the thought about what she would never guess trailed away and was never finished.

"So, what about you?" He asked, although he already knew the answer. Why was she playing with him?

"I won't lie," she smiled. "I am, too."

"You… are?"

"Why not?"

"But… why me?"

"You are strong and capable, you can keep up with my… well, lifestyle. And I like you. Isn't that enough?"

"I guess it is," he answered slowly, feeling something that strangely resembled disappointment.

"This is the moment when you propose, my lad," he heard a distinct whisper.

"Oh," Farkas realized he was distracted again. "So, Aline… Will you marry me?"

Then he looked around, startled. Was she making fun of him? The voice sounded slightly amused but it was definitely male.

"Barbas!" Aline snapped at the same time. "What the hell was that?!"

He stared at the dog in disbelief. The dog stared back, its pink tongue hanging out, as if it was laughing at him. Then it glanced at the girl and rolled its eyes.

"We had a deal," she stated angrily. "You were supposed to stay silent so that I don't get into trouble, remember?"

"Well, you two are getting married, right?" It said in a bored tone, seemingly disgusted with her lack of understanding. "You are going to live together. He needs to know anyway."

"But-"

"I made a decision," the dog declared solemnly. "I am not going to return to Clavicus. I am staying with you."

"What?"

"Now you see that it was necessary. He is going to live in our house. You did not expect me to stay silent all the time, did you?"

"Our house?!" Aline exclaimed, but her lips twisted into a smile.

Farkas thought that perhaps he should say something, but the situation was completely out of control. He shook his head. Nothing could be simple with her.

"Well, if you agree to marry me, Aline, perhaps we would have a place for a dog? For a nice, well-behaved dog." He gave Barbas a meaningful look. "Definitely not a noisy one."

"You suggest I'm noisy?" The dog asked in an offended tone, but Farkas could swear it was enjoying the situation. "Sure. It was a cover anyway. Making people think I'm just a dumb animal. But you know, I would have to keep my disguise in public."

"Wait a second," she broke in impatiently. "Are you already making deals behind my back?"

"I believe this young man asked you a very important question, my dear girl," Barbas remarked innocently. "It is really cruel to keep him waiting."

"Oh. I'm sorry," she blushed slightly and looked at Farkas. "Yes. I would be happy to marry you."

"So it is settled," he said and then surprised himself by adding almost affectionately, "you and me."

"Yes," she smiled warmly in response. "You and me."

"We should tell the priest we're getting married. They'll take things from there."

She got up and turned her back on him, removing long hair from the nape of her neck.

"Can you help me take it off?"

"Sure," he murmured. For a while he fought with a stubborn clasp. Her skin was soft and warm. He couldn't help touching it, moving his fingers up to the line of her hair. She shifted and he withdrew instantly, not really knowing why. They were getting married, after all.

"Here you are," he handed the amulet to her. "We could leave in the morning. It's a day's journey. I suppose Vilkas will go with us."

"And Aela. And Ria," she added. "Lucia, of course. And a few other people. You don't mind Lucia, do you?"

"She is nice. I think I like children."

"And about the Tomb of Ysgramor…" she began.

He looked at her and blinked rapidly. "Oh, that. Yes, it can wait for a few days," he agreed.

His mind was reeling and he could barely think. Was it all real? Was he getting married to the woman everyone wanted? He could not ask for more. It had to be the abruptness of events that made him feel so empty inside.

There was one thing he was certain. He could not wait to see Vilkas. Oh, it was going to be an immensely satisfying conversation. He would only have to wait until the morning, in case Aline changed her mind. He actually half-expected something like that.

But she didn't.


	4. Epilogue

_And here is the fluffy epilogue :) I'm sorry if you expected a longer story, I never intended it to be anything more than just a piece focused on the whole proposal/marriage thing. Thank you so much for the reviews and all other ways of letting me know you read the story!_

* * *

Many hours later, Farkas was lying in Aline's bed in Breezehome. No. It was now their bed and their home. They decided that it would be more comfortable than crowded quarters in Jorrvaskr. He felt her warm, naked body next to him and her hand playing lazily with his hair. He felt almost happy. It was a good moment and he didn't want to spoil it. But he had to ask.

"Why me?" He inquired finally. "What you said before… I suppose it was just a part of the truth. You could have anyone. I'm just a simple warrior."

"Oh, really? Just don't try to feed me that 'I don't know, just tell me who needs bludgeoning' stuff again. You almost fooled me when we just met."

"But it's true. I prefer fighting than discussing politics."

"You had no problems with expressing your views the last time we talked."

"You got me," he laughed. "But it's a good way to discourage people I don't know from asking too many questions. Still, there are thousands of people like me."

"Maybe it's because they aren't you?"

"Me? My brother would be a more obvious candidate. At least he is easy going and has a way with words," he objected. He could not let it go. He did not really understand why, but it was extremely important. But Aline stayed silent.

"Maybe it's because I love you," she whispered softly, when he started thinking that she fell asleep.

She loved him? The ache in his chest returned but this time it was different. Sweet. Made him feel as if his heart was melting. Love. There was no time for love, he never thought about it, being too busy fighting for survival. He had women before, but he never… But maybe this was it? All those emotions tormenting him, anxiety, longing, anger, fear, yearning, jealousy… They were gone. He blamed wolf blood for his distress. Could he really be that stupid?

"Aline, I… I love you too," he whispered, almost crushing her in his arms.

"Sometimes I thought you do," she smiled against his bare chest.

Then a short, barking laughter escaped his lips.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

"I think I have been in love with you for a long time. I only realized that right now. I told you, I'm not very smart."


End file.
